Oh...I can't remember the exact wording, but it is something like, "Whatever can go wrong, will go wrong" or, as Wikipedia suggests..."Whatever can go wrong will go wrong, and at the worst possible time, in the worst possible way."
I was getting excited about the baby. My dog, Captain, had just turned 2. Brian and I were planning our summer vacation...a cruise, our first. My mom was healthy.
So, first, mom gets diagnosed with breast cancer and has treatments. Later, we learn that she may have to have woman parts removed due to side effects and further cancer possibilities. I want to cry.
Next, my puppy (ok, he is 2) lands wrong and tears his ACL. The surgery is expensive and ends our summer vacation plans. No cruise for us, after all. Because of Captain's constant pain before the first surgery, after, before the second round, the second surgey, and still today, I want to cry.
I hate crying, so I don't. I guess it is something I have learned over years of heartache and misery. Life makes you want to cry sometimes.
Then, I go to the doctor for routine tests and I have a petit mal seizure, right there, in the hospital chair. I am fine now. I learned it can happen to me if I am around strobe lights. Ok, no more late night clubbing. I don't cry, but I feel the saltiness form in my eyes.
Another incident that I care not to share...and in the shower, I ball my eyes out and hope the water washes away the tears, which it does.
I cried...damn!
Finally, today, I get word that things are just not going to work out with our surrogate. I have had it. I can not hold in feelings anymore. I have no voice from allergies, I sound like a frog, and I feel like crap...and I have teared up on 2 seperate occassions in one day. I just feel life is not working out the way I had hoped. No, I did not say planned, because I through out most of my childhood "plans" years ago. I have to say...
LIFE SUCKS!!!
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