Colorado Springs

I wrote the following blog over three days, so it might seem a little disjointed…

Today we woke up at about 7am and got ready to go. Final packing, toiletries, etc. I actually felt bad about leaving Captain. I wanted to bring my stuffed Chocolate Lab Captain, but at the last minute, when I thought about going through security with a book bag, suitcase, belt, shoes, phones, and a jacket, a stuffed dog might be pushing it.
We were getting ready and I called the parentals…AKA Captain’s doggie sitters, to go over final details. We grabbed our bags, got in the car, and drove off. My stomach was in knots. I could not believe the nervous feelings permeating my body. I am not a fan of butterflies in my stomach, especially before a flight. Brian had to remind me to think of this as an interview, even though I am pretty sure it is a totally different feeling. Don’t get me wrong, I am not scared about meeting Noemi and Chris, I am just nervous. It seems everything these past few months have been moving fast. Not just the baby stuff, but life! A second ago, it was the first week of school, and now we are days from Winter Recess. This past week was packed. I had to go to different places every day after work, which I am not used to any longer. I had Family Academic Night until 7pm on Thursday, dinner for Sal’s birthday on Friday night, and then an early morning flight. I have to pause occasionally to remind myself, “Eyes on the prize.” But, I hear Violet’s mom’s voice from Charlie and The Chocolate Factory (Missi Pyle) saying it to Violet…I know…weird.
Our flight to Minnesota was turbulent. It left about 30 minutes late due to some mechanical conditions, which made every turbulent bump seem more severe than it probably was. Thus far, it is 11:37 am EST, I am about to land, yet am NOT impressed with North West Airlines.
Random thoughts…do Jim and Dan ever get airsick from turbulence? How much does a Flight Attendant make? Why is the one chick so cheery and the other seems bitchy? The bitchy one looks like she has had too much Botox but Brian thinks she looks like an Asian version of Posh Spice…but she is not even Asian. Ok…flight gate change-we have to switch planes, which we tried to avoid…oh well.
And Brian said that “we are never flying North West again!” The switch of planes, no big deal-but the fact that we had a 10 minute walk from one terminal to the other made him not so happy.
So we got to Colorado Springs (second smallest airport I think I have ever been to) and went to the hotel-Antlers Hilton. I liked it…seemed very popular with the locals. We shall stay there again. Brian called Noemi and we decided to take a cat nap befog going to dinner.
Chris and Noemi met us in the hotel lobby. First, let me say that Noemi has striking beauty. Her pictures do not do her justice! Second, Chris is muy guapo. Finally, they make an adorable couple! They complement each other well.
We headed out to dinner (in walking distance). Cute place, many drunken Santa’s…made me think of Selina doing the Santa Run in Philly. Anyway, they had some very exciting news…they got married on December 6! It was a civil ceremony, just the two of them, but they are now husband and wife (CONGRATULATIONS!). Chris said immediately after, he bought Noemi a hot dog and soda-their first meal as husband and wife. And then he had to go back to work. Too funny.
After dinner, they convinced us to go to Karaoke. Brian did not sing, but he did play Noemi in pool. We then went to another bar for more Karaoke. As the night went on…yup…I got drunk…SHOCKER! Don’t remember much…Brian said he sang Karaoke…But I have to say, I had a blast. We all bonded!
Noemi and Chris are GREAT! I love them. I am SOOOOOO happy she is doing this for us. She is sweet, and friendly, and happy, and honest, and …well, she is just great. She will be a terrific carrier. And Chris is awesome and funny, so she will be in good hands.
All in all, the visit was better than I could have asked for. Maybe, if I was not hung over this morning, I would have enjoyed my breakfast-that would be the only thing I would change. So, basically, thank you to all who kept us in your thoughts and prayers because our gestational carrier is phenomenal. Now, continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers in the New Year because Noemi told us the doctor said we can be pregnant as early as the end of January and Brian and I still have to go to the fertility clinic in a few weeks-probably mid-January, maybe over MLK Jr. Day holiday.
Thanks for taking the time to read-and please comment!

Boy Baby Name

The public has spoken. The name Zachary was the winner, which we like for the second boy. The name Daniel, a close second, will be our first boy's name.

First Official Trip

We have set our first official trip to see Noemi and her fiancee, Chris. We will be in Colorado Springs on Dec. 15 and 16!

Keep us in your prayers!

Am I really this old?

So, we went to the bar tonight...the same bar where we met. I felt like an old fart.

Yes, I laughed at the same karaoke singers. Yes, I sang along to the same songs.

But, I felt like I just did not belong. Then it hit me...I was thinking of Noemi, of Colorado, of my future children, of my dog, of my niece. I did not want to be there...I wanted to be home with Captain, drinking tea or cocoa, listening to the imaginary screams of babies.

Am I really this old?

Carrier/Surrogate

WOW! Brian and I had the best conversation with our carrier. Her name is Noemi (she said it is pronounced like "you did not win an Emmy...NO-EMMY"). She has a thick Puerto Rican accent, as she was born there and only moved here when the military transferred her.

She is great. So personable, so friendly...right off the bat, she asked if her fiancee, Chris, could talk to us on speaker phone, which made me feel great because that means he is definitely on board. He was very nice as well. She told Brian and I that we are going to have handsome children because we are very attractive...come on now...you are already going to carry my child/ren...you do not have to butter me up even more! I love her!

After about 30 minutes, we spoke about visiting each other. She has never been to Philly and has a thing for Ben Franklin, so she is very excited to come here. Neither of us have ever been to Colorado Springs, so that should be exciting!

I just feel that this was meant to be. Mandy and Noemi are great people and I look forward to this process!

Also, thanks for reading!

The call before the call

We had to speak to a woman, Lisa, before we can actually speak to the potential carrier. So, the woman was HILARIOUS! She went through all of these scenarios, but seriously, everything she kept saying, we kinda knew.

We did ask some questions, like "should we ever give presents?," "when should we first visit?," and "how often should we be there?" She was helpful.

So, that step is out of the way...now we wait anxiously until Noemi calls us...that is the name of the carrier.

BTW...that is supposed to happen at around 9pm tonight!!!

Egg Donor

We just got off the phone with our first choice of egg donors. She is super excited!
A little back story…she was a student at an AWESOME South Jersey University (any one guess???) until 3 days ago when she was flown to LA to begin work on a movie for MGM. She was an Elementary Education/Communications major at said University with a 3.7+ GPA. She has been modeling and acting for years and finally decided to take the next step, and lucky enough, so was a major motion picture studio! She is now looking for a place in Burbank.
She studied abroad in Australia, which was my second choice, and I told her about my time in England, which was her second choice.
Brian and I really liked her. She is very down-to-earth. She is a dreamer. She is into herself. She is selfless. She is a conundrum, much like me, which I love!
So, we have to email Rachel back, and see where we go from here. She, the donor, sounded like she was ready to start the baby process ASAP. She wanted to know what our schedules were like. She was happy that we said we would fly to LA to do the process. She gave us dates when she would be in Jersey again.
I AM SO STOKED!!!

Baby X. Geller

Some people say that I have been acting strange lately, more than usual…that my mind seems to be elsewhere. Well, let me give you the reasons why.
Work is going well…maybe too well. I am skeptical when things there go well. Maybe it is just me? My kids are pretty good, but LOW! It is a struggle just to get them to be able to read and write, but they are very loving and give me presents often, so I am all good.
HOWEVER, the real reason for my distance and scatter-brained behavior is that I am in baby-mode. Well, we are in baby mode. See, I have wanted to have a child for, well, for ever! I guess it started when my brother had his first child and I was able to take care of her on my own several times. So, the thought entered my mind that I could do this. At that time, the guy I was dating did not seem like he was into that idea. No problem, I thought…I would just put that on the back burner for a few years.
Skip to Brian. I have seen Brian with his nieces and nephews. They are teen-agers, but he is still a loving uncle. His sister, Amy, recently had a baby and he is such a doting uncle. Kevin needs nothing, except love, yet Brian is there with toys and clothes and games, etc. His best friend from high school also has a baby and Leighton is pimped out in the best outfits, with the best toys.
Brian and I had spoken on several occasions about both of our desire to have children. "What is the easiest way to get that done?" Well, adoption. Understandably, it has been in the news recently with celebrities adopting 2 or 3 at a time, it seems. Brian, for his own reasons, did not want to adopt, and while I feel that every child born into this world deserves a loving parent, I agreed to field other options.
One weekend, while at an event in Center City, we were introduced to several same-sex couples who had their own biological children. Many were women who had a good "male" friend…a donor. Some were men, who maybe had a child from a previous marriage. I was reminded of a couple I met years ago at Shampoo. They were a monogamous couple. The older one, I called him Harrison for his striking resemblance to Harrison Ford, did not have any children, but his partner, whose name I cannot remember, had a child from a previous marriage. They were both great parents to the child, so I knew back then that it if they could do it, I could!
Anyway, at one of the booths, they were advertising for adoption and surrogacy. We got the brochures and later checked out the websites. Brian said he had seen an ad in a newspaper or magazine, so he went looking and we began researching several companies. We found a few, read what we needed, and decided on a few companies. After inquiring about a few, we were set on one, Circle Surrogacy. They seemed very knowledgeable and their results spoke for themselves. So here we were, ready to check out how Brian or I could become a biological parent to a baby. We did more research and set in our minds that we would deal with it in the summer. The summer came and went, but here we were, in the fall, and we began the process. We called the company and set up an initial meeting at their offices in Boston. I was sick with a sinus infection, but we boarded a plane at 6am, got there at 8, had our meeting at 10, and were home by 9pm, excited and exhausted from all that we had learned that day.
They went over the procedures (very interesting), the costs (not something I want to think about) and the steps (there are many). Turns out we can both be biologically related if we have multiples (something I REALLY want!). They went over egg donors, carriers and the option that we had, a friend being involved in the process. My great friend had offered to be an egg donor. I was ecstatic. I LOVE her and always thought she would be a great mom…just look at how she dealt with students! We were all set with the facts and had to make the decisions. I put her in contact with Rachel, our Social Worker from the agency and everything was underway.
Now, we needed the money. Yeah, the dreaded thought that enters a "straight" couple's mind AFTER conception had to be in our minds before we could even imagine conception. We did what we needed to get money, nothing illegal (lol) and have most of the assets set aside.
Unfortunately, my friend was unable to become the egg donor. For reasons that I could NEVER imagine sharing with anyone, she did not feel she could go forward. You know, I have heard some friends say bad things about her choice, BUT SHE STEPPED UP!!! I will always LOVE SAJ for everything she has done and will do for me, and the fact that she even entertained the notion for a second says a lot about her character and who she is as a person. She is loving and willing to give of herself to two men who she met only 4 years ago. She is Auntie S. and will always be a part of our children's lives. I LOVE YOU SAJ!
So, next step was to contact Rachel again and tell her SAJ's decision and find out where we went from there. This was also the time that the agency had found a prospective carrier. So, we had a carrier, the money, and us…we needed an egg. We decided to go with the agency and use a donor instead of a friend. I am down-playing all of the emotions that are involved in this process, but to say the least, I did not want to have another friend go through what Sally did…let a stranger do it!
We received several donor profiles and selected 6 we wanted more info on. From those six, we chose 2. And seriously, if you had a chance to read what some of these people write in their profiles, you would also think yourself," why would you possibly want to be a donor"? "Who would select you"? I can be slightly judgmental at this point, because I read 17 pages of general illness and unhealthy lifestyles that might show the eggs will be tainted to say the least.
Back to our two…we rated them on a scale of 1 to 10. I really liked one and pretty much the other…Brian felt the same about the same two profiles. Was it meant to be??? So, we write Rachel, tell her our decision, and wait. Ok, when I say wait, I mean a few hours. Rachel is the BEST at getting back to you. I know we are paying these people, but still, she literally researches the answer and gets back to us as soon as she can. That is service for you (another reason we liked this particular agency!). So, she sends us an email…"I have spoken to XXX and she would like to speak to you two as well." AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! This is working! Also, the carrier is ready for our phone call…a few steps before we can get to that point, but we are ready.
OMG! So, what felt like a never-able-to-obtain dream is steadily coming to fruition! We have to call the egg donor this weekend, which I am nervous about, and then she will make her decision. Then, sometime this week, we will chat with the potential carrier…and then…well, that is where I stop, because I am not sure what is next. Sync our schedules? Choose a clinic? Fly to California? So many decisions, so many steps, so many things to contemplate…SO MUCH ADVICE THAT CAN BE GIVEN BY YOU, MY FAITHFUL READERS!
I have always been this way…the guy who likes to do things first. I was the first you knew who went to Russia…alone. I was the first you knew who studied abroad. I was the first you knew to teach in Philly, marry a man, and buy a house with him. And so, I am proud to be the first man you know to go through the process of surrogacy.
BUT, if anyone has advice or questions, I would appreciate it! And MONEY…boat loads of money! (Kidding…or am I?)